


The Slightly Drunken Banter Between Two Arch Enemies

by Jevil_Joss



Category: RWBY
Genre: Comedy, Flirting, Kidnapped!, M/M, RWBY Uncommon Ships, despite what it sounds like
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-18
Updated: 2020-01-18
Packaged: 2021-02-27 12:46:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 557
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22297279
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jevil_Joss/pseuds/Jevil_Joss
Summary: When Ruby was kidnapped, she knew she could count on her uncle to save her. What she couldn't count on was her uncle's flirting skills.
Relationships: Qrow Branwen/Roman Torchwick
Comments: 4
Kudos: 44
Collections: Uncommon RWBY Ships





	The Slightly Drunken Banter Between Two Arch Enemies

Ruby hung, suspended upside down from the ceiling, in the clutches of one of the most diabolical madmen she'd ever known. Roman Torchwick might have been the only diabolical madman she'd ever known, but this didn't make him any less dangerous. 

"You'll never get away with this!" she cried, struggling against her bonds. 

"Oh, Little Red, I'm afraid I already have," Roman said with a chuckle. He pointed his cane at the Dust crates at the sides of the Airbus. Neo, to help illustrate his point, held up a piece of fire Dust. "Besides, you can't stop me. Don't you still have curfew, Little Red?"

"I'm sixteen, you piece of criminal trash!" Ruby cried, struggling. 

"Don't prove his point, kiddo," a dry, and slightly drunken voice, drawled. Roman spun to see Ruby's Uncle Qrow, in her mind, one of the greatest Huntsmen to ever live. He downed some alcohol. 

"Uncle Qrow!" Ruby cried, grinning. "I...need a bit of help."

"I can see that," Qrow said with a chuckle. He locked eyes with Roman, glaring. Then, he chuckled, closing his eyes and smiling. "Don't remember seeing you around here."

To Ruby's surprise, Roman smiled back. "Well, I've lived here my whole life, and I've never seen you around here. So you are the newcomer."

"My mistake," Qrow said. He didn't even move to draw Harbinger. Instead, he just took another sip of his liquor. 

"Drunken mistake, Qrow," Roman said, tilting his head sideways and putting a hand on his hip. 

"Wait--you two know each other?" Ruby burst out. 

"Shush," Roman said, grabbing Ruby and spinning her around. "The grownups are talking."

"Did you know about this?" Ruby asked Neo as she slowed to a stop. Neo shook her head, looking just as alarmed and confused as Ruby felt. 

"Hey, this is my first thing today, Roman," Qrow said, waving his thing of alcohol at Roman. 

"How strong is it?" Roman asked with a raised eyebrow. "Cause, judging by the smell, that's some pretty strong beer, Qrow."

"Tha's not the beer, that's my natural smell, Roman," Qrow said, taking another sip. 

"Um...Uncle Qrow? Can I have some help?" Ruby asked. Neo reached over and stopped her from continuing to spin. "Thank you," Ruby said quietly. 

"Seriously, Qrow, I don't think drinking that much is healthy," Roman said. 

"Says the guy who's literally lighting a cigarette _right now,_ " Qrow countered.

Roman frowned, pausing before lighting his cigar. "What's your point?"

"You know what those things do to your lungs, right?" Qrow asked, pointing at it. 

"You know what alcohol does to your liver, right?" Roman said, lighting the cigar. 

"Ah--" Qrow seemed about to say something. 

"Uncle Qrow!" Ruby screamed. "Seriously! Help! Now!" 

"Okay, okay, stop your screaming," Qrow said, shaking his head. "Kids these days."

"Most kids," Roman argued, patting Neo's head. Qrow pulled out Harbinger, firing, breaking the rope holding up Ruby. 

"Neo? If you would?" Roman said. Neo stepped back, bowing deeply to Ruby. Ruby grabbed the closest object and threw it at Roman, who's image shattered. 

"What was that?" Ruby demanded, glaring at her uncle. 

"My boyfriend," Qrow said dryly. He winked at her. "C'mon, kiddo. I don't plan on sticking around her any longer, now that Romeo's gone."

"Romeo?" Ruby demanded indignantly. Qrow turned around and began walking off, without answering her. 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you, TheDarkestAngel, cause I never would have made this fic had you not requested it. Again, I don't think this was(or will ever be) canon, but it was fun to write. If you have an uncommon RWBY ship you'd like to see me write, post a comment, so long as it isn't incest I'll probably do it.


End file.
